Selected passages from the diary of Bonnie Clydesdale:

Aug 9, 1985


Cynthia is beautiful here. I never thought I’d come home like this, with someone like this. 

I don’t know if I’ll be able to bear it when we come home. I don’t know how I’m bearing it now.


Reading back, isn’t it funny? I call there home as well! Well, I suppose it is.

Elysium is far kinder to me than any place on this entire continent. 

I’ve been meeting with the girls while I’m up here, can you believe Chelsea of all people is married? Two kids, I’m still in shock. 

They’ve all grown up so much from the last time I saw them. I wonder if I’ll ever feel in step with anyone?


I’m the affair of a noblewoman, I mean what the hell is this? Ancient fucking problems and professions. 

Whatever, her cousin’s portraits are almost done, I’ll try to enjoy this fantasy for as long as I can, 

watching her explore, seeing the insides of places I’d only ever been able to imagine.


I feel like I’m dying, I’m sure I’m going to wake up five years ago tripping on paint fumes.